Apple has released a yet another software update, and now at update number 3782 (we think), are we finally over the less helpful changes that don't fix our main qualms — namely battery life and shattered screens? Absolutely not. Feast your eyes on what's headed our way...
New Memojis and Animoji features
We can now make ourselves into a cartoon! Doesn't serve much of a purpose, but also by far the one we're most excited for — sue us.
It's like a Bitmoji — in that you can customize it to look just like you — but it's mixed with the Animoji tech so that it moves along with your face in real time.
You can send it over iMessage or even use it during FaceTime when you're not particularly feeling your actual face.
Wow, the robots are definitely going to take over the world while we're staring at ourselves singing as a unicorn…
Speaking of FaceTime, now you can do it as a group!
Nearly eight years after FaceTime became a thing, Apple is finally adding the ability to make both video and audio group FaceTime calls. They say you can do it with up to 32 people but I think we can all agree that many people in one call sounds like the 7th layer of hell.
You can also go straight from your 'Yeah The Girls' group iMessage directly to group FaceTime with everyone in the chat. Which again sounds like a nightmare, depending on your prerogative.
Apparently our devices will run a lot faster
Apple says iOS 12 will double down on performance and that not only will your brand new Apple devices run faster, but so will the phones of the peasants who still have a 6 (guilty). SVP of software engineering, Craig Federighi, said apps started 40 per cent faster on the iPhone 6 with iOS 12.
You can help break your iPhone addiction
We all use our phones too much — even those sanctimonious people who post videos on social media of everyone they're with looking at their phones. Apple wants to help, but not so much you actually break free from the shackles of technology.
"Some apps demand more of our attention that we realise. They beg us to use our phone. They send us flurries of notifications trying to draw us in for fear of missing out," said Federighi — just @ Instagram next time, mate.
With 'Screen Time', you can now set time limits for apps, amongst other tools, and parents can now allocate and control their kids' screen time.
Having said that, you just get a "time's up" message at the end and you can request more time so, we guess it's still up to you.
Siri can find your keys?!
Their counterparts already have shortcuts functions, but now Apple has joined the party. You can suggest coffee orders from the place you regularly order from, message contacts you're running late, and if you say "travel plans", Siri will read back information like your hotel address.
But maybe most
terrifying impressive, if you say "I lost my keys", Siri will ring your Tile tracker, a handy gadget you can attach to your keys.
So there you have it, folks. The robots are taking over but we get to look like cute cartoons. Sold!