Beauty

12 things you only know if you're obsessed with fake tan

#11. Your friends always tag you in memes about fake tan fails.

By Erin Cook

For many people — present company included — fake tan isn't just a beauty product. It's a way of life.

Once you're accustomed to life as a tanned lady, it's hard to go back. As any beauty editor worth their salt will tell you, a good spray tan will make you look more toned! It'll take off five kilos! (Not literally, but visually.) Some of the better ones will give your skin a serious hit of hydration. And, all of them will give you the motivation to wake up early and go to the gym before work. Okay, that last one was a lie…

If you're one of the previously mentioned fake tan junkies, this one's for you. Here are 12 things you know if you're obsessed with fake tan:

1. White sheets are for people who are naturally bronze. If you fake tan, your white sheets will look like a crime scene by the morning.

2. You always smell like coconut. I mean, who actually wants to smell like coconut?! Not us. But for some reason, every single fake tan is heavily coconut scented. Go figure…

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3. Your friends will always find spots that you missed. And they'll point them out. After all, what are friends for?

4. Once you've applied a coat of spray tan, crying is not an option. If you have to cry, it can wait until the morning. Along with sweating, doing the dishes and hanging out the washing.

5. White t-shirts are a fake tan stain waiting to happen. Why does it always rub off around the collar? We'll never know…

6. You own 543 shades of foundation. They're all slightly different and 100 per cent necessary because the shade of your skin is always changing.

7. Your face is always whiter than your body. May as well accept it.

8. You've designated one day of the week as your 'tan day'. It's probably Wednesday or Thursday and your housemates know to steer clear of the bathroom – you're going to be a while.

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9. You've definitely overdone it before. And you've got the pictures to prove it!

10. Your wardrobe choices revolve around the state of your spray tan. Fresh tan? Throw on a strappy summer dress. Tan coming off in patches? Me: "Do you know what? I haven't worn that long-sleeve turtleneck maxi in a while…"

11. Your friends always tag you in fake tan memes. Yeah, I get it Susan, I fake tan a lot. I should know… I'm the one applying the stuff.

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12. You've stayed in on a Saturday night before because you CBF fake tanning beforehand. Life's better with a tan — and so are nights out! No tan, no play.