Dakota Johnson's infamous Fifty Shades bush was a FAKE!

And she had a butt double.

As part of a panel discussion with The New York Times on how to make a sex scene, Fifty Shades of Grey cinematographer Seamus McGarvey shared some behind-the-scenes secrets. Or, more namely, he dished the real deal on Dakota Johnson’s bush and ass. Because this is 2015 and that’s how we roll.

"Dakota had a kind of patch that went over her pubic area, and right around her whole body," he says.

Yep. Around her WHOLE body. Which basically means the pubic hair we see in the final edit is all thanks to some sorcery in the editing suite.

"We were in the curious situation, in post-production, of adding [pubic hair]. I wouldn’t say it was one of the highlights of my career, but it certainly was one of the most surreal scenarios," Seamus told The Times.

Seamus also cast a butt double for Dakota for that belt-spanking scene. "We did have a butt double for Dakota. I had the pleasure of casting a nontattooed bottom – Surreal Scenario No.2."

We bet it was, Seamus. But, to top it all off, some whipping was also "created via digital imagery".

WE DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE ANYMORE. Ever since Jamie Dornan told us he wore a "penis pouch" during most sex scenes, we’ve lost all faith in humanity.