Gwyneth Paltrow thinks you should burn your underwear after a break-up

That could get costly!

By Erin Van Der Meer
Gwyneth Paltrow thinks you should burn your underwear after a break-up

Gwyneth Paltrow is back at it again with the batsh*t crazy advice on her lifestyle website, GOOP.

The latest article to ~raise eyebrows~ is a guest post by ‘life advisor’ and relationship expert Suzannah Galland who suggests setting on fire any lingerie you wore with an ex.

“The lingerie you wore with past lovers can carry the toxic residue of those relationships, along with painful memories,” Galland writes. “While we might not think to trash lingerie that once made us feel so good—or that we spent a lot of money on—it’s a powerful, healing gesture to make.”

Galland says holding a bonfire for the bras and undies worn with an ex-lover “can help release memories”, and gives a step-by-step guide for the ritual.

  • "Find a safe place where you can light a fire. (Why not invite a few close friends to join you, too?)"

  • "Before you start, you might want to write out a few words, or recite a prayer to help release and forgive."

  • "Throw your needs-to-go lingerie into the fire one piece at a time."

  • "Watch intently as the pieces burn. Know that your past is recycling into the ethers, liberating your future."

We’re all for doing whatever you need to, to get over an ex. But the problem with this advice is two-fold.

Firstly, underwear is expensive, y’all! It’ll burn through your bank account, not just your favourite Victoria’s Secret bra that makes your cleavage look insane. The advice certainly comes from a place of privilege.

Secondly, wouldn’t this feel like more a punishment for yourself than your ex? F*ckboy screwed me over, and now I’ve gotta go underwear shopping too!

If you think setting alight some lace, wire and padding will help you heal, go right ahead. But chances are you’ll just be left with a pile of ash, an empty underwear draw and you’ll still have some personal work/heavy drinking to do to get over him anyway.

This advice isn’t as crazy as the vagina steaming or the vagina egg, but it’s still pretty crazy. Never change, Gwyneth. Never change.