Celebrity

Gwyneth Paltrow shares her recipe for Sex Bark

Because OF COURSE she does.

By Laura Beck

Pilates in human form, Gwyneth Paltrow, shared her recipe for something called "Sex Bark" on her website GOOP because when you're Gwyneth Paltrow, you don't give a FUCK. You wake up in the morning and say, "I'm gonna do 500 Tracy Anderson-approved arm circles and then I'm gonna spend the day putting everything I found at Whole Foods in a blender and see what happens!"

Bless her heart.

Sex Bark is a sweet dessert made with Moon Pantry Cacao, Moon Pantry Sex Dust, and Moon Pantry Ho Shou Wu. It's meant to be shared after a romantic dinner to fuel you through doing the freak nasty all night long. You know, just the sort of thing people go to GOOP for. You know what they say: If you want to find out about a $3,000 upcycled wooden stool made from the hull of an 18th century shipping vessel or you want to know what to eat so you can fuck for days, GOOP has your back. That's, like, in the Bible.

People did the math and found out that'll cost you about $60 to make so, um, make sure you reeeeeally want to do it with that person because you're paying pretty penny for some fancy snake oil.