Today in ‘ridiculous things Gwyneth Paltrow thinks you should do’, she’s advocating blowing hot steam up your vagina. For cleansing and detoxification purposes, obvs.
Apparently there is a Santa Monica spa which offers the service to people as crazy and vag-proud as her royal Goopness. Quick, let’s book some flights! (Said absolutely nobody reading this).
“The real golden ticket here is the Mugworth V-Steam: You sit on what is essentially a mini-throne, and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al,” her latest Goop blog post reads.
“It is an energetic release—not just a steam douche—that balances female hormone levels. If you’re in LA, you have to do it. “
Yeah, no thanks.
Unsurprisingly, the service isn’t as beneficial to your downstairs health as Dr Goop suggests. (Real) Dr. Jen Gunter, a board certified OB/GYN and expert in vulvovaginal disorders, wrote about the service on her website.
“Steam is probably not good for your vagina. Herbal steam is no better and quite possibly worse,” she explained.
“Mugwort or wormwood or whatever when steamed, either vaginally or on the vulva, can't possibly balance any reproductive hormones, regulate your menstrual cycle, treat depression, or cure infertility.
“Steam isn't going to get into your uterus from your vagina unless you are using an attachment with some kind of pressure and MOST DEFINITELY NEVER EVER DO THAT,” she warned.
With that in mind, here are 3 pretty horrendous things we’d actually rather do:
1) Go sand running with Tony Abbott.
2) Eat Gwyneth's 'sex bark'
3) Piss off Kim Sears
In short - go home, Paltrow. You're drunk.