Celebrity

K-Stew’s love poem for R-Pattz

It’s a little cringe, a little cute, and a whole lot hilarious.

Kristen Stewart

Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson were everyone’s dream couple. They played on-screen lovers in Twilight and then became an item IRL. Rob thought Kristen was the girl he would marry, but in July 2012 she cheated on him with her Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders. And the whole thing fell apart. Spectacularly.

Despite her public apology to Rob, it was pretty hard to tell if uber-private Kristen was really hurting over the whole ordeal. But the new face of Chanel has now revealed a love poem she wrote when the Twilight saga ended. And it's obviously about her love for R-Pattz.

Speaking with Marie Claire, Kristen recited the poem, titled "My Heart Is A Whiffle Ball/Freedom Pole”, to her interviewer. Have a read:

“I reared digital moonlight
You read its clock, scrawled neon across that black
Kismetly… ubiquitously crest fallen
Thrown down to strafe your foothills
… I'll suck the bones pretty.
Your nature perforated the abrasive organ pumps
Spray painted everything known to man,
Stream rushed through and all out into
Something Whilst the crackling stare down sun snuck
Through our windows boarded up
He hit your flint face and it sparked. And I bellowed and you parked
We reached Marfa.
One honest day up on this freedom pole
Devils not done digging
He's speaking in tongues all along the pan handle
And this pining erosion is getting dust in
My eyes
And I'm drunk on your morsels
And so I look down the line
Your every twitch hand drum salute
Salutes mine…”

Are we the only ones who have zero idea what that is about? We’ve got to hand it to K-Stew though, she’s pretty creative. Before bravely reciting the poem to her interviewer, she said: "Oh, my God, it's so embarrassing. I can't believe I'm doing this."

And we kind of can’t believe she did either. You’d think your most intimate poem written about the guy you cheated on, yet still love, might stay put in your diary. Taken out occasionally to cry about when you’re feeling a little sentimental.

But no, Kristen has decided that the whole world needs to know about her love poem dedicated to R-Pattz. And we're forever grateful to her.

Either Kristen is a deeper soul than we all gave her credit for, or she is totally having a laugh as the whole world takes her, er, slightly ridiculous poem dead seriously. You be the judge…