Celebrity

Updated: Orlando Bloom's peen has been freed on the internet

After he got it out and went paddle boarding with Katy Perry...

By Lorna Gray

Update: THE PEEN HAS BEEN FREED. WE REPEAT: THE PEEN HAS BEEN FREED.

Ok, so yesterday, we were all about privacy for Orlando's little pirate of the Caribbean but it's the internet. Of COURSE someone's leaked it.

Happy Googling, friends.

Katy Perry RN:

related Vote now for Cosmopolitan's Women of the Year 2016!

related

Vote now for Cosmopolitan's Women of the Year 2016!

Vote now for Cosmopolitan's Women of the Year 2016!

Original story:

You know what we respect? A man who’s completely comfortable in his own skin, someone who’s willing to let it all hang loose and live their life…

Enter: Orlando Bloom.

Orlando went paddle boarding with his girlfriend Katy Perry in Italy, and instead of wearing boardies, he was all like ‘F**k it,” and freed the peen in spectacular fashion.

Yes. Not deterred by the constraints of modern society that dictate peens should be locked away in trunks, he rid himself of his shackles (clothes), knelt on that board, swung the paddle majestically and said “Yes world, this is me.”

(This is what happened in my head anyway.)

Good on ya, Orly. Special mention goes to KP who's clearly living her best life, sitting on a paddle board with a naked Orlando Bloom rowing her around the place. Bliss.

Of course, the internet is now in a big old horny tizz trying to find the original, uncensored pap shots because people want to see the merchandise, dammit.

But we secretly hope Orlando’s little pirate of the Caribbean remains a mystery for the rest of time because what’s life without mystery? cough and ~privacy~.

Also, it means people can continue to do downright wonderful things like this:

What a time to be alive.

RELATED VIDEO: Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom sing happy Birthday together