Health & Fitness

Ladies are shoving glitter up their vaginas so they can have ‘sparkly orgasms’

Homemade glitter glue that should never, ever be used for crafting.

glitter for your vagina

In today’s slightly strange and very concerning news, there is now a brand new thing that ladies are putting up their vagina for little to no reason. We’ve had jade eggs (thanks Goop) and balls of herbs suggested as supposedly good things to pop into your vag canal, but this is nek level.

People are now putting glitter-filled capsules up ~there~ before sex so that they dissolve during your sesh. Once you orgasm, supposedly something like this will happen:

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Passion Dust Intimacy Capsules is the company that makes these bizarre sparkly additions to sex, and they claim that they will give you a “sparkly, flavoured orgasm.” Be sure to warn your partner before to avoid any unnecessary surprises…

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The company also says that these capsules will make your vagina look like “what all vaginas are supposed to look, feel and taste like”. Let me stop you there, buddy.

Vaginas come looking, feeling and tasting exactly how they should, naturally. Not in any single biology book have we seen a diagram of a vag with a big arrow pointing in it, saying ‘GLITTER SHOULD BE IN HERE, BRAH.”

Also, we really question the validity that glitter goop makes your orgasms better. Will it make the bed look like a tragic craft scene? Maybe. Will it make you cum with more gusto than you have ever had? Definitely not.

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In further scientific news, this is potentially very dangerous for your nether regions. If this capsule contains sugar (which we guess it does if it includes ‘edible glitter’) then it could encourage bacteria growth in your love oven, gynocologist Jen Gunter explained to Teen Vogue. AND, putting a substance like this inside of you could cause vaginal contact dermatitis, which is a like a “vaginal sunburn” that kills off all the good bacteria in there that fends off nasty infections.

FYI, this is what the glitter looks like when it, erm, comes out of you.

Though on the website it says this product is ‘FDA approved’, we would encourage you to find other ways to add some sparkle to the bedroom. Firstly, because we want your vagina to be as happy and healthy as it can be, and secondly, because you don’t need to change a damn thing guuuurl.

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