Health & Fitness

14 problems only women on their periods understand

When your period completely surprises you and is like, "Is this the WORST TIME? Ha ha

By Cosmo Team
14 problems only women on their periods understand

1. Inexplicable ravenous hunger for everything you ever crave that's highly caloric. Dear Period Gods: Can everyone in the office have their birthday on the five days of the month that are my cycle to ensure my ability to consume heavily frosted treats without expending any more effort than walking from my desk to the communal kitchen? Prayer hands emoji.

  1. Not knowing what to wear because you're bloated.**

  1. And colour-wise, fashion becomes complicated because you're worried about it leaking through your bottoms. Even though that only ever happened once ​kind of* and no one even knew but you.

4. When it completely fucking surprises you. You're period's all, "Boo! It's me again! Did I scare you? Is this, like, the worst time? Ha ha! That's me!" And you're like, "Fuck you, I am wearing a light pink dress to my friend's wedding, which is in 30 minutes, and now all I want to do is lay down with a bottle of wine and ignore all the world's humans."

  1. Going to the beach.* Because even though you've no evidence to prove it, you just* know that tampon strings have a mind of their own. It could poke out and wave at that hottie with the frisbee at any moment.

  1. Knowing you "should" go on a jog or to some torturous step aerobics class for your cramps. **But seldom actually doing so because all your body feels like doing is, well, nothing until this is all over.

  1. Worrying people will see your tampons on your person**. Like, when you go to the bathroom, and you feel like you have to hide your tampon in a purse or your sleeve. Or when you're buying tampons at the chemist and you kind of tuck them under your arm and also pick up shampoo so you're not just WALKING AROUND WITH A BIG OLE BOX OF TAMPONS. THAT'S ME, OTHER PEOPLE IN THE CHEMIST. No, no, thanks.

  1. Worrying your tampon will fly out of your hand/bag.* Again, even though you have minimal to zero evidence to prove it, you know tampons have minds of their own. What if you pull out some lip gloss and your tampon just goes* flying into a stranger's face!

  1. WAITING FOR IT TO COME AND IT'S NOT COMING.** Thank god you can't date your period because she would never, ever text you and tell you what she's up to.

  1. When you need your man to buy you tampons and he either: (1) makes a big stink about it or (2) says, "Didn't I just buy you those?"** Yes, you did buy me them. ONE MONTH AGO.

  1. When someone (usually a male) asks you if you're on your period because you seem irritated.** Even if you are, that's not the reason you're annoyed. The reason you're annoyed is because you have to hang out with dickheads who ask you if you're on your period.

  1. When it decides to come on holidays with you and your lover.** Because you forgot tampons and now you feel crampy and now he wants blow jobs as some consolation prize for you being on your period and you're like, #no.

  1. Did I mention the cramps?* Bite me, cramps. Bite* me.

  1. Your period laughing in your white pants's face. **​White pants: Wear me today? Period: LOLOLOLLLL.