Horoscopes

Why you’re single, according to your star sign

Permission to blame the stars for your loneliness.

love life star signs

Do you feel like you’re chronically single and have no idea why you’re not getting any of the guys? ‘Cos you’re loveable, you’re super cute and funny as all hell. So why no dates?! Well, my lonely pals, it may be written in the stars.

To find out how your star sign contributing you being the biggest single pringle around, read on.

Aries

Aries are undeniably the most EXTRA of all the star signs — you love having the spotlight firmly on you and will do anything you can to be the wildest one in the room. That’s why when it comes to your love life, you rams can be just a bit too much for a fella. Your confidence may be a little overwhelming for them to deal with — but that doesn’t mean you should stop shining so bright to make them more comfortable. Instead, find a dude who will be your biggest fan. A partner who accepts you and all your attention-hogging traits is the one for you.

Powered by GIPHY

Taurus

Being an earth sign, Tauruses are some of the most grounded individuals around and they’re often super ambitious and a bit of a workaholic. Do you have a mate that always stays back late in the office? They’re probably a Taurus. This trait is fine and dandy if you’ve already found your S.O. and have settled down, but a bit shit if you’re on the prowl. How to override this eternal singledom? Well, firstly, you need to get the heck out of the office and hit the scene. Avoid swanky, expensive bars, and instead, go for the local pub or a cosy café to find your fella — you’re more likely to nab a fellow grounded soul there.

Powered by GIPHY

Gemini

Being a ‘twin’ sign means that whoever’s dating you is actually dealing with two of you — and those two sides are probably very different to each other. One half of you is a sweet, caring soul that wants to get all snuggly and shit, and the other half is a screw-loose rager who doesn’t want to be tied down to anyone. This makes things very complicated when it comes to the dating scene, as you kinda mess around whoever you’re seeing — going hot and cold every four seconds. You’re gonna have to wrangle one half of yourself into agreeing with the other half if you’re going to commit to someone. Obviously, when you’re in a relationship you can let you’re other half out into the open, but perhaps when you’re trying to figure out whether you like a guy, just tune out some of your conflicting inner voices.

Powered by GIPHY

Cancer

Cancers actually make for some of the best partners as they’re super caring and sensitive to the feelings of others — in fact, they go above and beyond to please people, too often putting themselves second to other’s needs. This is what makes things complicated for Cancer’s love life. Because they’re so invested in making sure the other person is happy and having a good time, they tend to lose themselves and forget about their own feelings. This means that when they do go out on a date, and it’s a bit shit, that they continue on regardless if the other one is keen, leaving them trapped in a cycle of dull dates and zero sparks. Obviously Cancers, like everyone, have a breaking point, where they flag up that this isn’t for them and break the boy’s heart. This process emotionally exhausts them and they shy away from the dating scene for a good long while after that — quitting Tinder and avoiding ~feelings~ in general. Basically, Cancers are trapped in a never-ending routine of ignoring the dating world, trying it out, getting in too deep, breaking hearts and retreating from the scene again.

Powered by GIPHY

Leo

Leos, you are emotional clams. You have locked up all your feelings and thrown away the key, making it incredibly difficult for any man to wiggle his way into your heart. This means that you may have mastered the art of the dating game, flashing your confidence around on each and every Tinder date, but things just never seem to progress further than a couple of weeks, as the second they want to talk about ~feelings~, you run for the hills.

Powered by GIPHY

Virgo

Virgos are often riddled with anxiety, meaning that you frantically over-analyse every single situation. This is a death wish in the dating world, because a guy can’t say two words to you without you doing a psychological deep dive into it — reading in-between the lines and studying his tone of voice to figure out if he’s in to you or not. THIS WILL DRIVE YOU CRAZY. Yeah, it’s virtually impossible for you to not analyse things when you’re on the dating scene, but if you pick everything apart that your date says, you’re never going to progress much further than the first couple of drinks.

Powered by GIPHY

Libra

Libras have a tendency to be away with the fairies at any given moment. Think Pheobe from Friends and you’ll picture the kind of kooky dreamers we’re dealing with. Though Libras tend to be pretty romantic, and they love planning adorable weekends away and give beautiful homemade gifts, their heart (as well as their head) tends to be up in the clouds. Pinning a Libra down is bloody hard, because they’re such darned free spirits. Libras may have intensely passionate relationships, but then they will ghost the fuck out of them seconds later — leaving them prancing around the single pool.

Powered by GIPHY

Scorpio

Scorpios are super sexy, mysterious beings who love being elusive to woo their partners. Though the chase can be HOT, and playing the unattainable damsel draws men in, it doesn’t put you in good stead for a long-lasting relationship. We’re not being slut-shamy (because we’re all for sex in whatever shape it comes in), but if you’re trying to not be single, then playing the woman of mystery card will probably not lead to a serious relationship — because relationships are based on openness and a legit connection. Sure, you can shag your way into one (because sometimes that’s the quickest way to connect), but you’re gonna have to open up and get emotionally intimate at some point, mate.

Powered by GIPHY

Sagittarius

Sagittarius, you’re a feisty little fucker aren’t you! You love a good heated debate (and a fiery fall out) but there’s nothing you hate more than losing a fight — which is great if you’re a hard-hitting politician, but when you apply this logic to a relationship you will fail miserably. Relationships are all about compromise, so you should get it into your head now that you’re not going to win every single fight you and a partner have. It’s just naaaat gonna happen. Also, even if you think the best way to demonstrate passion is to fight (because you both just care so goddamn much) that’s fine, but if you’re at each other’s throats from day dot, it’s probably not a great sign. Screaming like a crazy bissshhh on your first date is not going to result in a second.

Powered by GIPHY

Capricorn

Capricorns are the most straight-laced of all the star signs. They’re formal, self-righteous and wouldn’t be caught DEAD goofing around. That means that Capricorns are often seen as ‘prudes’ and super unapproachable — a funsponge, if you will. While being prim and proper is not a sin, you’re probably going to have to learn to loosen up to snatch a man. And try not to be a total snob if someone chats you up — it’s not super encouraging!

Powered by GIPHY

Aquarius

Aquarius kids are some of the most creative and innovative individuals around, but they have insanely high expectations. You know, the ones who were royally pissed when they graduated from Uni and their dream company didn’t come and beg for them to work there — THAT kind of unrealistic hopefuls. Aquariuses apply this level of ridiculous expectations to their dating life. They are outraged that the world’s best bachelors haven’t taken them out to dinner. But babe, you need to realise that Prince Harry isn’t gonna come and sweep you off your feet — firstly, because he’s pretty loved up with Meghan Markle, and also he’s a royal who you’re probably never going to cross paths with. Drop the fantasy and start hunting for men who are actually attainable and your single life problems may be in the past.

Powered by GIPHY

Pisces

Oh Pisces, please don’t cry when you read this, because we know you’re a sensitive soul, but we need to hit you with some home truths. You are beautifully sweet and caring, and the right dude is out there for you, but you need to stop FREAKING OUT ABOUT FAILING. You’re gonna go on some shitty dates and deal with douche guys, you’re gonna get rejected — maybe a fair few times — but that doesn’t mean that you are an un-dateable lady. Push that box of tissue to the side and believe in yourself boo. You can do this dating thing!

Powered by GIPHY