Lifestyle

14 vulgar kids movie jokes that totally went over your head, until now

It's not all about that happily ever after, kids!

By Bianca Mastroianni
14 vulgar kids movie jokes

Ah, becoming an adult can be a blessing and a curse in many ways, but to re-watch some of our favourite childhood movies and realise that dayum, there's some dark, adult sh*t in them, can sometimes be a bit terrifying.

To be young and naive again, amiright?!

Here are some scenes in kids movies that have serious subliminal messages that you totally missed as a kid. Try and not feel violated...

1. TOY STORY 2: When Buzz gets 'excited' seeing Jessie be a ~boss b*tch~

ERECTION MUCH?!

2. ALADDIN AND THE KING OF THIEVES: This sex joke Genie threw in mid-earthquake

Mmm, yasss.

3. THE EMPEROR'S NEW GROOVE: Kronk er 'pitches a tent' in his PANTS!

Morning glory, babes?

4. TOY STORY: Sid's toy Legs is actually a hooker...

You work that room, hun.

5. SHREK: Lord Farquaad's name totally sounds like 'fuckwad'

Lol... fitting.

6. MADAGASCAR: Sugar Honey Iced Tea, a total acronym for shit

Poop.

7. HERCULES: Mummy issues! #incest

Yah you heard right, after leaving a theatre, Hurcules states: "That Oedipus thing? Man, I thought I had problems!"

Oedipus was a mythical Greek king who according to legend, killed his own father and married his mother.

8. SHREK (again): Shrek makes a penis size joke about Lord FUCKWAD

Little man, little dick?

9. ALADDIN: Jafar making Jasmine a sex slave

Dirty, dirty man.

10: SPONGEBOB: Soap prison joke

Ok so this may not be a movie, but Spongebob was a massive part of all our childhoods...

"Don't drop'em" good old Spongebob tells Gary...classic claps all round

There was also this beauty...

We see what you did there...cheeky.

11. ICE AGE: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS: Ruthless genitalia chopping off joke

"Let me tell you about the time I used a sharpened clam shell to turn a T-Rex into a T-Rachel."

12. MRS. DOUBTFIRE: Here's a circumcision joke to make you cringe for days

Ok so, this is probably one of the most under-the-radar jokes in kids film HISTORY (and the grossest).

Basically, "gribenes" is a kosher dish of chicken or goose skin cracklings served with fried onions, and a "mohel" is a man who performs circumcisions. So, the translation of this line basically is, "I should never buy chicken skin from a guy who gives circumcisions. It's so chewy."

#DINNER

13. WILLY WONKA & THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY: More penis jokes!

When Veruca Salt asked about snozzberries and Willy Wonka didn't really answer, so a 'snozzberry' is the glans of a penis, according to Roald Dahl's My Uncle Oswald. Cheeky bugger.

14. WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT: Sex toy product placement

Jessica tells her bunny lover, "I've loved you more than any woman's ever loved a rabbit." HMM...beastiality??

Anyway... we're gonna go take a cold shower to wash our childhood away...

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