J.K. Rowling releases a new Harry Potter backstory!

The Pottermore tidbit is all about the Dursleys.

We all thought it was over after Deathly Hallows: Part 2, but after the announcement of the Fantastic Beasts film and now THIS juicy piece of Pottermore we realise HP will be ours forevz.

J.K. Rowling has just released a secret backstory to everyone's favourite hotties Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia! And it's all to celebrate Dudley Dursely's 35th birthday.

The intriguing tale, available on, can be unlocked by paying a visit to 'The Cupboard Under the Stairs'. If you focus on the objects lying outside Harry's old staircase bedroom you’ll come across the extract.

This reveals the saucy details of Petunia and Vernon's fateful first meeting. Hint: it's not on Tinder.

Yep, they met at their 9-5 office jobs. Big surprise there.

It gets a little bit cute, especially when Petunia reluctantly reveals her sister is a witch and Vernon loves her anyway.

To be extra delicious in our details she actually "threw herself upon him in such violent gratitude that he dropped his battered sausage." #Raunch #50ShadesOfDursley

Before you get to thinking about the hot fanfiction that might arise from this sausage moment, you'll be pleased to know the extract goes on to explain the totally AWKS first meeting of the Dursleys and Lily and James Potter. Yassss.

Rowling also delves into her reasoning behind their names, mentioning that “‘Vernon’ is simply a name I never much cared for” and “Petunia” is a name she tended to give “unpleasant characters in games of make believe”.

Even their surname Dursley was apparently “taken from the eponymous town in Gloucestershire” which she randomly chose just for the semi-icky "sound of the word".

The craziest tidbit to the backstory may just be what Rowling hoped for Aunt Petunia in the end of the series. She actually wanted to flesh out a more pleasant side to her “when she said goodbye to Harry for the last time.”

Turns out she just kept Petunia as is, having her “behave in a way that is most consistent with her thoughts and feelings throughout the previous seven books.” Aw.

Image: Warner Bros