Lifestyle

The harsh realities of spending all your wages on payday

Is there a way for me to physically withdraw $2? I really need a Kit Kat.

By Aimie Rigas

I just got paid! I’M THE RICHEST HUMAN IN THE WORLD.

I’m going to buy ALL of the things. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, some new shoes, makeup – the sky really is my limit.

$200 remaining in my account. I can totally make that last a fortnight.

Oh, shit. I didn’t realise they were going to charge that in US dollars.

WHY did PayPal just withdraw an extra $163 from my account????

Oh, right. That dress I bought last payday. DAMN YOU ‘PAY AFTER DELIVERY’. Why are you even a thing?

It’s okay. I’ll just eat Mi Goreng at my desk for lunch while everyone else in the office goes out for Thai.

Next payday will be here soon. Let’s check ASOS. Wait, what?! I literally just treated myself to those shoes. Why would they put them on sale now????

Okay things are dire. I can’t ask mum for money because she’ll give me the “you’re an adult” lecture.

Is it morally incorrect to ask a younger sibling to transfer me cash? She works part-time. It should be fine, right?

Money will be in my account in three days. We’re back in business, bitchez.

Until then, I might just have to use one of those instant coffee sachets they have for free in the work kitchen.

And maybe steal some for home...

On a scale from ‘1 – get your shit together’ how wrong is it to steal 2ply toilet paper from a public bathroom?

Wait. I get paid again in three days. That money transfer is useless.

Why is everyone inviting me to ‘drinks’ and ‘catch-ups’ this week?

Fine, I’ll come. But I’m bringing my own water bottle.

I have $7 in my bank account. What if I go to McDonald’s, buy a cheeseburger and ask to withdraw $5 cash?

THEY DID IT. Now I have a cheeseburger and $5 to spend.

Annnnd, it’s gone.

One more sleep. I’ll just eat some nuts and leftover cereal for breakfast and be better with my money from tomorrow.

I swear our pay usually goes in at 4.52pm.

Checks account

EUREKA!

Repeat cycle.