Nobody knows who invented them or why they exist, but there is undeniably a set of standard "dating rules" that people like to follow.
But since when do we take instructions from invisible bodies and invisible rule books? Who are we? Harry Potter?
Andrea Syrtash and Jeff Wilser have addressed these rules and why they’re such a load of rubbish in their new book, It’s Okay To Sleep with Him on the First Date: And Every Other Rule of Dating, Debunked.
They claim that men never think about them, so us ladies shouldn’t either.
“We don't think 'This one’s girlfriend material because she waited a month, and that one’s booty-call material because she came back to my place,'" Wilser states.
“You need to take risks in love,” Syrtash explains. “Some of the best stories I’ve heard about people who find love feature those who broke dating rules.”
The pair throw out age-old (and frankly boring) thinking like:
Don’t have sex on the first date
“The mere act of waiting does not magically create chemistry.”
Never date a co-worker
“We always hear that certain people are off-limits,” says Syrtash. “It’s hard to find chemistry and connections. Sometimes it shows up in places and packages you least expect.”
Never talk politics or religion on a first date
They say one of the most common first date complaints is that the other person talked too much about themselves, or even worse, was boring. So why not discuss what you’re passionate about?
Break it off if the sex is bad
“So often we call sex bad when it’s just awkward and we haven’t found our rhythm yet,” Syrtash says.
Nice guys finish last
Syrtash explains: “I’ve rarely heard anyone say, ‘I don’t like the person I’m dating because he’s thoughtful,’ or, ‘I don’t like her because she listens to what other people have to say and is caring.’”
Don’t sext before sex
“If you haven’t actually slept with this person in real life, it’s too soon to sext.” Wilser claims. Their rules for safe sexting include: avoid abbreviations (“Hot4u” sounds anything but smoldering), make sure it’s someone you trust (a digital footprint is real ... and dangerous) and try sexting while sober (a 10:30 a.m. sext is more provocative than a drunken one at 2:30 a.m.).
But the two aren’t total rule-haters, in fact they really big up the need for a few. Example – a guy should always pay on the first date: “The guy who doesn't pay isn't some daring, trailblazing pioneer for women's rights,” Wilser explains. “He's just cheap.” (We like his style.)
They also say that girls should look “hot and approachable” without being “overdone” on date number one. This means avoiding “oversize, baggy clothes that make you look like an old woman who lives in a shoe.” Excuse us while we chuck out our smock dress…