Love

Dating faux pas

Not stoked on your love life? These bad dating habits could be letting you down…

By Edwina Carr
Bad dating habits

OK, we admit it: dating ain’t easy. In fact, sometimes it can be downright hard. First there’s picking up flirting signals from a guy, then there’s picking the perfect date outfit and then comes the the potential awkwardness of the date (don’t even get us started on the text analysis that comes later). While it’s natural to feel a little clueless when it comes to the dating scene, these bad habits could be seriously sabotaging your chances of happiness…

Dating faux pas: tipsy texting

We’ve all been there; you promise to yourself that you won’t get in touch with a guy when you’re drinking (you’re so not that kinda girl). But after a couple of cocktails, sending him an illegible text seems as natural as Paddlepops on a hot day. “Alcohol impairs your judgement. If only police could charge us with a TUI (texting under the influence), they’d be able to save us from emotional car wrecks," says relationship and sex expert Elly Klein. Tell your friends to stop you from texting that guy if you can’t trust yourself to avoid screwing up what could be a good relationship.

Dating faux pas: waiting for the guy to make the first move

Ladies, “because guys should” is not a valid reason for you to sit and wait (or hope) that a guy will come and talk to you. “No matter how tough they might look, men fear rejection. Be approachable by smiling at him, starting the conversation or perhaps being a little flirtatious. If he’s interested, he’ll take it from there,” suggests Elly. Trust us, you’ll be grateful you did it.

Dating faux pas: wasting time on a guy who’s "meh"

Every heard a girlfriend say, “I’m not interested him but I’ll still go out to him because I’m not seeing anyone else”? If you’re not into him, don’t waste time trying to be into him. “Don’t spend your precious time dating a guy who doesn’t interest you when you can spend time with a guy who you really like.” says Elly.

Dating faux pas: worrying what your friends think about him

Fact: everyone has different taste in guys. Whether your friends think he’s hot or cool is irrelevant; if you’re into him, that’s all that matters. “You’re the one who has to spend time with him, be intimate with him and share your life with him. If all of your friends absolutely hate him, especially if their reason is because he treats you badly, you might want to take that into consideration. But if they think, for instance, he’s boring or not particularly good looking, don’t worry about it. It’s your relationship – not theirs,” explains Elly.

Dating faux pas: limiting yourself to a guy “type”

Just because you usually date blonde bad boys doesn’t mean that you can’t find a connection with the nice brunette guy. “Mr Right rarely comes in the package we expect. If you limit yourself to a certain ‘type’, he might pass you by. Keep an open mind,” says Elly. Try dating that guy you’ve previously written off, you might be pleasantly surprised.

Dating faux pas: living in the past

When you’ve been cheated on by a previous boyfriend or had major trust issues, it can be super hard to let go of these ingrained insecurities with a potential new BF. But leaving past mistakes, well, in the past will guarantee you’ll be happier in future relationships. “Aging has many benefits and one of them is learning from your mistakes. It results in greater happiness and contentment. So, if you keep making the same mistakes over and over, you’re depriving yourself of happiness,” says Elly.

Dating faux pas: focusing on his flaws

Newsflash: nobody is perfect. It’s highly likely that even Ryan Gosling has habits that annoy Eva Mendes (like being too good looking maybe…) so try to focus on a new guy’s positive points rather than dwelling on the negative. “There’s a difference between a flaw and a deal-breaker. Chronic back hair is a flaw (unless you like back hair). Nastiness is a deal-breaker,” says Elly. Learn the difference.