What went wrong?

Could this new form of relationship closure really be a win-win?

What went wrong?

Whether he was the first guy you introduced to your dad, or a summer fling you secretly hoped was going to last, it's almost impossible to move on from a relationship without some kind of closure. And as you rehash all the happy moments in your mind and make a mental list of the reasons you might have got the flick, one question tends to dominate: "What went wrong?" Happily, you don't have to be the girl who drunkenly screams it down the phone to find out, thanks to a new website, headquartered in Melbourne - Tempted? You should be. "Getting honest feedback can be painful, but it's helpful in the long run, so we're not left wondering," says clinical psychologist Jo Lamble. "While the whole truth can be hard to handle, nothing else will help you learn from your mistakes."

How it works
The site helps you create a personalised quiz you can send your ex - or anyone who never called back - politely asking exactly why your flame fizzled. After you answer a few questions yourself, the site emails your ex, giving him the chance to tell his side of the story. Will you get closure? Yes, of a kind. Is this the right way to go about it? Er, maybe not. The problem is, you can't read his tone of voice or body language, which makes it difficult to tell if he's taking it seriously. But if you've got a guy who can't deal with the emotion of a face-to-face, email lets him express his feelings without the pressure of you being there.

One new message
After five years together, Cassandra, 23, was devastated when her boyfriend Trent ended it. After 18 months apart - and many lengthy phone calls - she still found herself unsure exactly what happened, so she jumped online. "We'd never been completely open about what went on," she admits. After receiving Trent's response, Cassandra was surprised to see that the fact she didn't get along with his mates was one of the factors in his decision to break up with her. *"Reading Trent's answers was a bittersweet moment," she says. "It's nice to know there are no hard feelings, and what to work on in the future. But with hindsight, I feel I came across as a little juvenile, contacting him via a website."

When it comes to saving endless hours of asking yourself "why", being proactive about finding closure can be a good thing. But whether we need a website to do it for us is quite another matter.

Getting the facts
Even if you don't have an ex - or the courage to email them - there's still a lot to learn from this unique app. Since the site's launch in January this year, responses from guys and girls all over the world have been recorded and are now being shared online. For the first time, we're able to see the real reasons why we're getting dumped, stood up and never called back. The website's statistics tab allows users to filter results, so they can search for the exact answers they're after. For example, using this function we were able to discover that the number one reason the Australian Cosmo reader is being broken-up with is because our exes think we "want different things." Other top reasons include "not being adventurous enough", "not paying for dinner", "being too high maintenance" and "not getting along with his friends".

At least we can find some solace in the fact that other options like "being unhygienic", "too lazy" or "not affectionate enough" didn't make our top ten.

Words by Gyan Yankovich