It's extremely difficult to pinpoint one reason why men stray. However, one sexpert claims that she has uncovered the most common catalyst for men's infidelity: sexual dissatisfaction. That's right, it's all about sex, or lack of it.
Helen Croydon, author of The Sugar Diaries, claims that a cooling of a couple's sex life is a huge reason for men to look for physical satisfaction outside their relationship. She undertook extensive research on the topic for an upcoming book and spoke to hundreds of men and women about infidelity. "I've targeted men on the UK's largest cheating website, maritalaffair.co.uk and even been undercover on that and so-called sugar daddy websites to get to grips with common male motivations for straying," says Croydon.
She found that the most common reason men cited for having an affair was that the physical side of their relationship had faded or sex had become uncommon or too routine. This of course is a completely selfish reason to cheat because it takes two to tango, so to speak, and both partners are equally affected by a diminished sex life.
Although sex is a huge factor, Croydon states that this is not the only reason men cross the line into infidelity. Another common factor is men feeling like they are being overlooked by their partner, who might be busy at work or have her hands full with looking after kids. Upsettingly, Croydon says that this is most prevalent among new fathers who are getting used to sharing their lady with a crying baby, and complain that they need to find romance somewhere else because their relationship has become merely functional.
Surprisingly Croydon also found that guys who do stray are not necessarily out of love with their girlfriend or wife. "I was surprised by how many men said they loved their wives deeply and were not looking to end their marriage, but wanted 'something extra'." They stated that they wanted to have the feeling of looking forward to seeing someone again and feel the thrill of wining and dining. For some guys however, it's more about the rush of being with someone new for "one last time", before they 100 percent commit.
Croydon says that men who cheat because of this "Feel they can hold onto their previous identity with one last experience of their old life. They mistakenly believe that one final memory will sustain them for years ahead of 'being good'." Flawed logic, non?!
One of the most shocking reasons given for seeking "green pastures" is if their partner has a debilitating health issue that stops them from having a normal sex life. According to Croydon some will see this as an amnesty on fidelity because their wife or GF can’t participate in the relationship like they once did.
Interestingly, simple opportunity isn't as common as many people assume. "People who stray on a whim have done it before or already given it some thought," explains Croydon. So, while an attached guy may leave a night out with a mysterious stranger, it's actually not the way most trysts begin: "To act on a fantasy usually requires mental preparation and lots of suppression of guilt so it's unlikely a quick chat on a bar stool in a strange hotel will make someone jump into bed."