Breakups, for the most part, are shit. Whether they happen after a long-term relationship, or even after a few weeks of confusing ‘dating’ where you feel like a doofus for even saying you’re going through a breakup, they’re not fun.
Enter: Zoë Foster Blake. Our favourite Aussie author/beauty guru/all the things announced last night that she has created an app, aptly-titled Break-Up Boss, to help all women ‘be the boss of your breakup.’
“Seven years ago I decided to write a book on break-ups,” Zoë wrote when she announced the app on Instagram. “Because I think they’re a gift. A chance for epic growth. Painful but largely misunderstood, like Justin Bieber. But life got busy, and the idea was parked. Then, last year, I realised it should be an APP, not a book! So, I jammed a books’ worth of content into a tidy little app, and today that app and idea is finally live.
“It’s called Break-Up Boss, and it has a singular goal: to help women handle, heal and move on from their breakup in a healthy, positive way. To act as a digital pocket coach for your traumatised, fragile, gorgeous little heart. After all: Why should a break-up be the boss of your life, mood, personality, diet, social life, sleep patterns, and (now ravenous and atrocious) drinking habits? Fuck that. You gotta take back control. You gotta be the boss of your break-up. You gotta make it work for you. And hopefully, with Break-Up Boss, you will.
“With illustrations by the glorious @bymariandrew, and LOTS of advice (much of which you will hate me for), as well as very fun extra shit - like daily pep-peps, a ‘text your ex’ function and Spotify playlists - but I can’t detail in full here or they’ll turn the music up and usher me off stage, @breakupboss acknowledges that while break-ups definitely suck, you don’t have to suck at break-ups.”
Zoë has dished out a lot of tough love-style relationship advice over the years – she was Cosmo’s long-time relationship expert and then put all her dating tips and tricks into a handy little book called Textbook Romance, which features sideline commentary by her now-husband, Hamish Blake. (They weren’t together at the time of writing the book.)
So even though Zoë is in the most perfect relationship now, she definitely KNOWS what she’s talking about, and has admitted in the past that she spent a lot of her single years doing all the things she would not advise anyone to do now.
On her website, Zoë writes that the inspiration for the book-turned-app came from the women who asked her for help with their own breakups: “Around 80% of the emails I got from girls reading Textbook Romance, or my (effervescent but completely unqualified) relationship advice column in Cosmopolitan for seven years concerned break-ups: should they instigate one, how could they handle a bad one, what were they to do when they really weren’t handling a bad one, etc. And I realised that the resources for young women going through a modern break-up were pretty scarce.”
The app includes heaps of advice, quizzes, and yep, that handy ‘text your ex’ function that lets you say exactly what you want to say to an ex, without actually saying it to them. Oh, and Zoë joined forces with Instagram illustrating superstar Mari Andrew to help, well, illustrate all the scenarios.
It sounds like a downright treat, and exactly what all newly-single gals need in their lives. It’s available to download on iTunes for $9.99, and will soon be available for Android.