News

6 reasons why we want to live in Joe Hockey’s Oz

No, seriously, ‘Get a Good Job Joe’ lives in a beautiful fantasy world filled with rainbows and buttercups…

1. Good jobs grow on trees!

Joe Hockey advises Australians wanting to buy their first home to "get a good job that pays good money." Wow, thanks Joe! Why the friggidy frig didn’t we think of that?! Rushes out to get a good job that pays good money

2. Going to the doc is just like having two brewskis!

Our Treasurer once likened health spending to buying a beer. “One of the things that quite astounds me is some people are screaming about $7 co-payment. You can spend just over $3 on a middy of beer, so that’s two middies of beer to go into the doctor.”

3. Periods are our little monthly friends!

Mother Nature gives women a little monthly gift each month that fills us with joy and happiness and is lovely and blue like it’s shown on the adverts. And every month, we have to pay 10% GST for products to accompany this little gift but they’re not ‘necessary’ health products like condoms or lube. And even though Mr Hockey said on live TV he’d "raise with the states," that this GST should be scrapped, Prime Minister Tony Abbot said it was "certainly not something this government plans to do."

4. Poor people ride horses and carts like '**em olden days!**

Joe said a proposed increase in fuel excise wouldn’t hit the poor as hard as the rich because they "don't have cars or actually drive very far". Lol! Peasants!

5. Being Treasurer instantly means you get to put your hands in the air like you just don’t care!

One of the prerequisites of being Treasurer is killer dance moves (duh). Just ask political journalist Laurie Oakes who walked in on Joe Hockey busting out some sick shapes before he delivered his budget speech. He was dancing to Best Day of My Life by the American Authors.

6. It also means you get a $50,000 chef – far out!

Shane Delia, an Australian chef was engaged by the Treasury to deliver a working dinner for the finance ministers at the April Washington G20 meeting. “His contract included costs of the dinner, travel to Washington and accommodation,” a spokesman for Mr Hockey said. Must be awesome having one of them good jobs that pays good money, hey?