All of the glorious dad jokes in Barack Obama's final Thanksgiving Turkey Pardon speech

That's worth gobbling about!

By Erica Gonzales
barack obama's final thanksgiving speech turkey pardoning

Yesterday, President Barack Obama officiated his final White House Thanksgiving Turkey Pardon of his eight years in office. Since it's his last time taking on the Thanksgiving tradition as Commander in Chief, he decided to shake things up and let loose. (A presidential case of senioritis, perhaps?) And by "let loose," we mean: unleash his full arsenal of dad jokes.

Without his teenage daughters around (Sasha and Malia had a "scheduling conflict," the president said), he had no one to embarrass and was in a judgement-free zone for pun usage. He even had his two young nephews, Austin and Aaron Robinson, accompany him at the podium instead. "They still believe in bad puns," POTUS told the crowd.

With free rein on the jokes, the president did not hold back. Here are all the Thanksgiving-related zingers from his speech today:

1. "Of course, Thanksgiving is a family holiday as much as a national one, so for the past seven years, I've established another tradition: embarrassing my daughters with a corny-copia of dad jokes about turkeys."

2. Malia and Sasha are thankful, by the way, that this is my final presidential turkey pardon, but what I haven't told them yet is that we are going to do this every year from now on. No cameras, just us, every year. No way I'm cutting this habit cold turkey."

3. "Thanksgiving is a chance to gather with loved ones, reflect on our many blessings and, after a long campaign season, finally turn our attention from polls to poultry."

4. "Tater is here just in case Tot can't fulfill his duties. He's sort of like the Vice Turkey. We're working on getting him a pair of aviator glasses." —with a subtle nod to Joe Biden

5. "I want to take a moment to recognise the brave turkeys who weren't so lucky, who didn't get to ride the gravy train to freedom, who met their fate with courage and sacrifice, and proved that they weren't chicken."

6. "That's worth gobbling about!"

7. "We should also make sure everyone has something to eat on Thanksgiving—of course, except for the turkeys because they're already stuffed."

8. "When somebody at your table tells you that you've been hogging all the side dishes, you can't have anymore, I hope you respond with the creed that sums up the spirit of the hungry people: Yes we cran."

9. "I know there are some bad ones in here, but this is the last time I'm doing this, so we're not leaving any room for leftovers." — On the number of dad jokes in his speech.

10. "Let's get on with the pardoning because it's Wednesday afternoon and everyone knows that Thanksgiving traffic can put people in a foul mood."