Sex

The 11 most effed-up outrageous sex scenes in ‘Sex and the City’

Remember Samantha’s baby-talk guy?

By Mahalia Chang

Sometimes shows don't always live up to their names. There's not enough literal thrones in Game of Thrones, Friday Night Lights is low on the lights, Gossip Girl turns out to be a Gossip Boy, etc., etc.

But one show that does live up to its name is Sex and the City. Even though it's not a perfect show (and Carrie Bradshaw is a super complicated character), boy, does that show deliver on the sex front.

Whether it's Carrie getting her neck thrown out during a jack-rabbit session with Harry's best man or Samantha's handy work with a can of whipped cream, sex is a starring character in the series right next to New York.

And a lot of that sex is not exactly your run-of-the-mill, cookie cutter romp in the sheets. Between Charlotte's compunctions, Samantha's daredevil attitude, Miranda's occasional out-of-the-box antics and Carrie's relatively normal sex life (thanks to SJP's no nudity contract clause), there's plenty of scenes that blew our minds.

In the worst way.

That time Charlotte’s boyfriend got too friendly with his dog

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Sex and the City creator Darren Star revealed to Vanity Fair recently that the season one scene where Charlotte storms out after her boyfriend keeps pushing her head down to give him a blow-job was meant to end a lot worse.

"She walked back in and saw that his golden retriever was going down on him," said the creator.

Writer Amy B. Harris added: "We shot him putting peanut butter on his penis, and Charlotte walks back in like, 'Oh, I'm being unreasonable,' and then she sees that... I can't believe we even thought about doing it."

YIKES.

When Miranda got cum in her hair from the tantric sex demonstration

If there's one thing worse than witnessing some random lady giving her husband a hand job on the lounge room floor, it's him shooting his load and half of it ending up in your hair and on your face.

Poor Miranda.

Charlotte’s insulting date

Sex and the City introduced us to a lot of sex fetishes we didn't know about – and probably should never have known about – but Charlotte's date's need to call her a "fucking bitch, fucking whore" while he orgasmed was quite something.

Miranda meets the parents in the literal worst way

When Miranda's public sex kink guy finally acquiesced and had sex with her in the privacy of… you know, a bedroom, she thought the worst was over. Until his parents walked in on them mid-act, and he didn't stop.

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That guy who just couldn’t kiss

The good kisser vs bad kisser debate when it comes to guy isn't new, but it is rare for a guy to swing so far into 'bad kisser' territory he's literally licking Charlotte's face.

That guy with the porn hang-up

In season two, Miranda got with a guy who could only get off when he was watching porn… no matter who he was with. Things got a bit hairy when, at one point, he asked Miranda to move her head so he could keep watching. Oh boy.

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Charlotte’s foot fetish foray

We're not saying we would, but if we were going to go down the foot fetish route, we'd prefer to go the Charlotte way of things and get a free pair of designer shoes out of it.

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That time Charlotte just boinked her gardener in full sight of her in-law’s

Full credit: We didn't think Charlotte had the stuff to just throw caution to the wind and have sex with her boy-toy gardener where anyone could and did stumble upon her. Kudos?

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When Samantha straight-up tried to seduce a celibate monk?

Samantha's sex-capades have led her to sleep with many a different man (and woman). But we think her efforts to seduce a celibate monk – or Fryer Fuck, if you will – were a little OTT.

Samantha’s date’s baby talking

The transcript from Samantha's baby-talk run-in in horrifying on its own ("Samanfa, does your 'gina-wina want a widdle visit from my Mister-Mister?"), so we won't go into any further detail. You're welcome.

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When Samantha literally filmed a sex tape to dispel Smith’s gay rumours

When rumours swirled that Samantha's boyfriend, Smith, was gay and she was just a "fag hag," Samantha did the only natural thing: ignore it. Just kidding, she filmed a sex tape and then leaked it to two PRs.