Emma Markezic: According to the sexperts

When it comes to nookie, the nerds know it all

Oh, hey there. I didn’t see you. I was just over here boning up on the latest sex studies. They publish them almost constantly, you know. Those scientists sure are a kinky bunch. It’s actually quite astounding what they’ve contributed to the dance with no pants, intellectually speaking. Curious about the mating habits of dolphins, for instance? Want to know if iPhone owners are randier than BlackBerry owners? Interested in finding out how many times a year the average person has sex? Goshballs - you name it, they’ve studied it.

Far from just being column fodder though, this research often goes a long way to unraveling the mysteries of the human brain. Hot off the presses, The Journal of Experimental and Social Psychology recently published a study that showed men who spend even a few minutes in the company of an attractive woman perform worse in tests designed to measure brain function than those who chat to a Plain Jane. So if you think all men are idiots, it could just be that you're ridiculously hot? In that case, perhaps you should think about a career in espionage; somewhere you could put those weapons of mass seduction to good use.Your country needs you! And your amazing rack!

Scientists at Princeton University have been toiling away in the erogenous zone of late, too. They've revealed that having regular sex may actually help you grow new brain cells. And the more sex you have, the more cells you could cultivate. So perhaps Albert wasn't the born genius we all think he was... maybe Mrs Einstein was just a rollicking good time in the sack? If that isn't enough to have you penciling regular nookie sessions into your calendar, I don't know what is. I feel this information could also be adapted into a stellar pick-up line:'Hi, my name's Emma - I'm working on a cure for cancer, but I can't do it without you.'

And here's a retro science-y tidbit for your next dinner party - did you know German gynaecologist Ernst Gräfenberg officially discovered the G-spot back in 1950? Although the term 'G-spot' wasn't coined until 1981. They even made a movie about the magical pleasure point,The Grafenberg Spotit was called, back in 1985. Don't try looking for it at your local Blockbuster though. I've tried, it's not there. In fact, it's decidedly hard to find. Much like the subject matter itself, guys - amiright?

It's nice to know those the field of research science are unraveling these knots for us. Without them, we'd never know that we spend an average of two entire weeks of our lives kissing, that a teaspoon of semen contains seven calories or that a man's beard grows faster when he anticipates sexy times!

Oh, and just for the record dolphins mate belly to belly, iPhone owners have more sexual partners than BlackBerry or Android owners, and 103 times a year. It's a wonder those scholarly types can keep on top of it all. I guess it's true what they say - nerds really do have bigger hard drives.