How to have make up sex, minus the fight

Yes, you can have crazy awesome sex without losing it at each other first. Here’s how.

By Cosmo Team

There's something about make-up sex that's different to all other kinds of in-between-the-sheets action. You've been fighting like Geordie Shore cast members and then instead of ripping each other's hair out — boom — your clothes come off instead.

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According to sex and relationship expert Isiah McKimmie, it's a couple's mutual need to make it up to each other than makes the sex so good. "After a fight, we desire to feel close to our partner again and sex is a great way to do that. We also usually have a lot of passion and energy built up during a fight and it's a great way to release it," she explains.

So how can you, er, release that kind of energy during sex without having a horrible fight beforehand? This is how…

Try something new

They key to getting that We Just Had A Massive Fight feeling (without the angst) lies in getting your heart pumping right before you do the deed. The key? Be spontaneous. "Getting your heart rate up means better blood flow to the body, which in turn means more feeling in the body," explains isiah. "Doing something exciting can also get your adrenaline pumping which means heightened awareness." Yep, and that means you'll have a heightened sexy experience, too. Nice.

Me time

If you've lost a little of the spark in your sex life, it might be time to consider more time apart. We don't mean you need to sleep in different bedrooms or only see each other once a week, just don't do absoutely everything together. Less time together means you'll miss each other more. Cue: awesome sex.

"It's really important that couples have time apart as well as together. The old saying that 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' is absolutely true," explains Isiah.

Play along

The next best thing after post-fight make-up sex? The make believe version, obvs. Why not keep things fun by acting out a (non-physical) play fight. "Doing anything that changes things up in the bedroom is a great way to keep things fun and exciting," explains Isiah. "Play fighting can help let some tension out in a fun way and it's also a great way to bring out sides of you that you normally keep hidden."