Tesco was feeling particularly fruity (or should I say vegetable-y) this Valentine's Day, when they placed a "Perfect for Valentine's" sign next to a crate of their finest cucumbers. But after reading the following story, they'll probably want to hope no one took them up on their creative suggestion.
Because a German man, 46-year-old Oliver Dietmann, is currently on trial in his native Mannheim, where he faces five years in prison for the death of his secret girlfriend after using a cucumber as a sex toy during their lovemaking session.
Oliver invited his mistress over to his apartment while his wife was out, where the pair proceeded to drink four bottles of wine before moving on to shots of schnapps, and then got down to it.
"We would often use dildos as well as carrots and courgettes in our sex life," Dietmann told the court, recalling that on the day itself back in July 2014, his partner "didn't have any toys with her, so I grabbed half a cucumber from the kitchen."
But their sex games went drastically wrong when Dietmann used the vegetable as a sex toy before stuffing the now-mushy cucumber in his girlfriend's mouth. Momentarily distracted by smoke emerging from the kitchen, thanks to food he'd left cooking on the stove, Oliver went to attend to the damage.
When he returned, however, he found his partner unconscious in the floor, with the cucumber having blocked her air passage.
Speaking in court, he said: "I tried to pull the pieces of cucumber out of her throat. But they were so mushy I couldn't get them all."
But tragically, his efforts were not enough, and his mistress died as a result of the cucumber. And Dietmann is now potentially partially liable for her death, after the state prosecutor, Reinhard Hofmann, said, "He should have known that he couldn't leave her alone for so long."
Via: Cosmopolitan UK