Like the Nokia 3310 I had at the time, my high school sex ed talk would be considered seriously outdated by 2018 standard.
Sure, the basics were covered (I know how condoms look on bananas), but there was a hella lot left out of the conversation that could have really come in useful e.g. what sex looks like for non-heterosexual people, why you should pee after sex, how foreplay can be half the fun etc. etc.
If the idea of relaying all the deets of your last one-night-stand to your mum over coffee scares you, you're not alone. We were never taught about sex in a 'how-to-climax' way; rather only in a 'how-to-make-a-baby' kind of way. Having sex for fun, while of course was taught (cue the banana ref), never really got into the nitty-gritty. Let's face it: At age 16, no one wants their mum or teacher explaining the female orgasm.
But with its surrounding hushness, talking about our first-ever sexual encounters was something we only shared with close girlfriends, while giggling and exchanging possible dress options for formal. It wasn't something we ever discussed OUT LOUD, out loud.
Taking it back to Weinstein, and perhaps the most confronting aspect of the scandal (apart from the horrific allegations of abuse) is the case's prevalence; how could one man have sexually assaulted so many women without gossip-hungry Hollywood having any idea? If sex was less of a BTS-subject, could the truth have been uncovered sooner?
Of course we've come a long way when it comes to getting liberal on sex and women having it – Cosmo Australia has been covering g-spots since '73 – but when it comes to getting it on, there are a number of stigmas yet to be dealt with.
We've worked hard at debunking some of the other out-dated (read: shitty) notions around sex. The seriously effed-up and unfair idea that it's completely fine for men to have casual sex, but not so much for women, has long been a topic of public discussion and pop-culture (thanks Samantha Jones).
But one needs only to look within the male-marketed condom aisle of the supermarket, or read the statistics, to see there are many stigmas still very much in place. According to a survey of 2000 people in the UK, one in 10 men still see it as taboo for a female to buy and carry condoms. Sigh
So how, in 2018 (the era of UberEats, Google Home and Robot-operated hotels), have we reached such a sex standstill?
The New York Times Magazine recently did an article on pornography's effect on teens – and the results were mighty interesting. Within the article, it was revealed that guys (and girls) were watching a lot of porn with scenes involving dominant males, "gang bangs" (among other aggressive acts), and female characters who were down. for. it. all.
Sigh x 2.
Thanks to internet now being pretty much everywhere (couldn't get that on the ol' Nokia 3310), it makes sense that porn is now one of the main ways that teens are learning about sex. It also makes sense that with porn portraying women in such an inferior level of power so often, that men are naturally seen as having more of a right to the decision making in the bedroom.
So, we're calling it: It's time for our sex talk to get a little louder. In the digital age of Tinder, Instagram DM-sliding and late-night fuckboy/fuckgirl "u up?" getting frank about sex has never been more important.
Thankfully, there are some companies hearing our plea. Moments Condoms and their female-targeted tin packs (genius for big nights and tiny handbags) are empowering women to take charge in the bedroom and our right to just as much sex as our penis-bearing counterparts.
Whether with a one-night-stand or an old family friend, the conversation of sex – the new and much louder one – needs to be started now. It's our time to get real about what sex really looks like, and not what so many think it should look like.
Brought to you by Moments Condoms