Sex

How to stop being obsessed with your boyfriend's ex

Be very careful when treading into ex territory...

By Cosmo Team
Gretchen Weiners

For every new couple, the conversation regarding past relationships inevitably rears its ugly head. What was once a perfect post-coital cocktail of cuddles and conversation can quickly unhinge even the most rational woman. Let's be honest, finding out that your boyfriends ex-girlfriend was Miss Universe can be a serious destabiliser.

Opening the 'ex-box' as Kim Kardashian so famously coined it with your ex, or yourself for that matter, should come with a danger warning! 'Opening will cause large amounts of self-doubt and totally irrational behaviour'. Comes to mind - but we're not fussy.

All smiles, Kim's 'ex-box' was truly iconic.
All smiles, Kim's 'ex-box' was truly iconic.
Kim Kardashian keeping a box of nuggets from her first date is a BIG MOOD.
Kim Kardashian keeping a box of nuggets from her first date is a BIG MOOD.
Maybe it's time to bin it.
Maybe it's time to bin it.

So ladies why do we do it to ourselves?

Why are we so eager for information regarding his last lady love?

Being the curious cat I am, I paw around for subtle details, while feigning general disinterest. Your ex-girlfriend was a dancer; who helped the blind in between studying International Law, working for the United Nations and bringing peace to thousands of starving Africans? AND she's a size six! In my experience nothing good ever comes from delving into your man's past.

It almost feels ingrained into our DNA to compare ourselves to other woman. But putting ourselves down and judging our worth based on how we match up to another is unhealthy and frankly quite pointless. His ex-supermodel girlfriend might rock a swimsuit, but did she make your man laugh as much as you do? Did she know the perfect thing to say to make his average day better?

It is worth pondering why men in fact rarely, if ever, reverse the ex-question. Are they simply not interested, or have they just clued on to the fact that people from our past are well... in the past? Maybe our tales of past loves and lust are about as useful as a knife in a gun-fight. What can they gain from the knowledge that our ex was a sexual beast who left us?!

Silently thank her for ruining her relationship with him, and leaving her lovely leftovers for you. He is with you, not her, for a reason, and whatever reason that may be my dear readers, is reason enough.