6 ways to kick-start your sex life

Is your love life starting to feel stale? Predictable? Samey? It's more normal than you think. And also easy to fix...

How to put spice into your sex life
Ways to increase your sex drive

1. Prioritise your love life

OK, while we’re not going to go as far as saying you need to schedule in a couple of nights where you HAVE to have sex, it is time to make it a priority in your life.

“If you lock in a sex night you’re going to feel a lot of pressure to turn it on. Instead, schedule regular ‘alone time’ where you put down your smartphones, hang out watching a movie or even just snuggle in bed,” recommends sex and relationship expert Dr Nikki Goldstein.

This way, you’re more likely to reconnect.

Tip: Try taking turns to plan date night and keep the details a surprise to up the excitement factor.

2. Think outside the room

Always having sex in your bedroom, on the bed? It’s time to shake things up ladies because routine can equal boredom.

“Different places can hold different memories, which is why it’s great to have sex in a different room or go to a hotel as a treat – it’s a new space so visually and mentally you’re going to be stimulated,” explains Dr Nikki.

Hello, kitchen (just make sure no one is home)!

A weekend or night away could also give your relationship the boost of excitement it needs. There’s no need to dip into your precious annual leave or spend a fortune, instead opt for somewhere local and book a ~staycation~. offers a diverse range of accommodation options – from hotels, to guest houses, to b&bs, and beyond – so treat yourselves to a change of scenery and let the fun times roll.

3. Try one little change

When you’ve got into a routine where you’re always having sex the same way, in the same two positions, things are going to get a little boring. But here’s a newsflash: shaking things up doesn’t need to involve Christian Grey and his Red Room of Pain.

“People feel they need to really change things if their sex life is waning, but if you just implement one tiny change – like a new lubricant or an ice cube on a nipple – it’ll have a huge impact on your sex life,” encourages Dr Nikki.

One small change for you; one giant leap for your love life.

4. Never underestimate the power of kissing

How long has it been since you had a serious kiss fest with your guy? If you’re only really getting your smooch on when you have sex, it’s time to pucker up.

“Kissing is really underestimated. It’s something that can make you both feel good and it really shows your partner that you love them,” explains Dr Nikki.

Plus, it releases oxytocin, the hormone that promotes calmness and connection. Translation: you’ll be more inclined to want to do the deed.

5. Focus on you

Having the urge to jump your partner has a lot to do with how sexy you’re feeling as an individual. If you’re not feeling confident or attractive, there’s no way you’re going to feel comfortable about stripping off and doing the deed with your guy.

“Do something that makes you feel like a goddess. Whether it’s getting a spray tan, a new outfit, some sexy lingerie or getting your makeup done,” suggests Dr Nikki. If you feel hot, you’ll project that vibe onto your partner. Hello, awesome sex!

6. Talk, talk, talk

Another huge (albeit kinda boring) way you can up your sex quota is as simple as opening your mouth… to talk. Get your mind out of the gutter, we’re not referencing that kind of talk…

“As humans we forget that our sexual needs, fantasies and likes change over time. If your man is doing something that doesn’t please you anymore, don’t hide it from him,” says Dr Nikki.

So how do you do that without deflating his ego and, er, other things?

“Tell him that you love him and you love your sex life but there’s one little thing you’d like him to change. Always offer a solution that he can do instead,” explains Dr Nikki.

This way he won’t have a bruised ego and you’ll get what you want. Cha-ching!