Suss his sex style

It's time to make his bedroom habits work for both of you

If he's in a rush to finish

Sharing a bed but your climaxes aren't even in the same postcode? Part of the reason could be that women can take around 20 minutes to reach full arousal, while he's perfectly capable of enjoying sweet post-coital dreams by then.

So how can you join in the hard-and-fast run without feeling unsatisfied at the end? The key lies in separating mind and body - getting the former psyched for what the latter is about to experience. Without him around, slip into your sexiest lingerie and touch yourself lightly; brushing your thighs and breasts will make it feel extra hot when he takes over. Then once he's in bed with you, take a moment to conjure up the X-rated daydream that gets you going when you're alone.

Alternatively, choose a less familiar spot to get naked (kitchen table?) as it will get your adrenaline pumping. If you need to play catch-up, take hold of his penis and squeeze just below the head - the pressure will push blood back down his penis and take his sexual tension down a notch. Finally, if gentle stroking is more your style, try some dirty talk to ramp up the tempo and have you crossing the finish line neck and neck with him - if not first.

If he's a diver

Going down on you is one of the most intimate moves a man can make, so it's no surprise 43 per cent of us are keen for oral sex. If he loves diving down below, ask him to try this trick. "Get him to suck you gently, as if through a straw," says Siski Green, author of How to Blow His Mind in Bed. "Once you're aroused, he should form an 'O' with his lips, pulling and releasing. It can be intense, so he should follow your cues to ensure the pressure works."

If oral doesn't feature in his repertoire, don't hope subtle hints will clue him in. Tell him what you want in positive language ("I'd love it if you…") and give him directions ("softer/faster/in circles") - most guys will be grateful. And if you feel like dealing him some deep-sea action, take a breather while giving him head. "Stop and blow gently up and down his shaft," suggests Green. "The air will evaporate the moisture on his skin, making it tingle. It'll then feel twice as exciting when your warm mouth closes over his penis again."

If he's look for a workout

Men fall into camps: the "lie back and let you do your thing" variety, versus the guy who sees sex as an extension of his gym session. If he's type two and boasts good upper-body strength, he's suited for positions that require him to take your weight. Indulge his inner caveman by going for sex against a wall with your legs wrapped around his waist, or take it to the shower to steam things up.

If that doesn't work for you, start in missionary and have him kneel up straight, holding your hips so your torso is at 45 degrees to the bed. A rocking motion should have both of you grinding to a climax in minutes. And you can hone your inner gymnast by training your pelvic floor - strong muscles result in strong orgasms! Try Je Joue Ami Orgasm Ball System ($69.95, for an internal workout - it'll blow both your minds.

If he likes to take his time

A major scientific sex survey conducted found the perfect sex session lasts between seven and 13 minutes - and that some of us think even three minutes is "adequate" (really?).

However, forget what the scientists say - taking it slowly could be the path to your most mind-blowing orgasm ever. And if your man is the type of guy who enjoys pleasuring you, tantric sex could reap huge benefits for you both. "If he can keep going, you could be in for a marathon session," says sex therapist Katie Sarra.
Tantra isn't just about opening your chakras and trying not to picture Sting naked; it's also about enjoying each intimate moment of sex, not just the race to orgasm.

First, plan a sexy night at home and find a way to bond that doesn't involve sex - whether it's taking a bath together or sharing a bottle of red wine. Then, when you're both totally relaxed, it's time to explore what turns you on physically and mentally.

"Just about any activity can be made erotic," points out Sarra. "To find out what works for you, try playing Yin Yang - where each of you takes it in turns to be Yang, in charge of requesting pleasure from your partner." A massage? A little bit of oral attention? Gentle stroking? Aim to spend three hours over the whole experience and you and your partner will be feeling a connection for days.