The next morning

Emma Markezic tells us what to do after a grown-up sleepover

Whether you're morally opposed, or it's something you do on the regular, the one-night stand is as ingrained in our culture as Vegemite on toast. There are, however, a few things to remember when it comes to overnight romance. Especially if you're bucking for a raise to girlfriend status (or just bucking for another raise).

You see, there's this thing called "manners". You might have heard of them. If you like the guy enough to let him add a notch to your bedpost, be boss about the fact the next morning. Grunting at him until he leaves is a no-no - even if you do have a five-alarm hangover and want to inhale a bowl of fries before scrubbing yourself down with a stiff-bristled brush. There are a few rules to being a stellar sleepover pal, and they are as follows.

Firstly, use a condom. You just met this person and you probably wouldn't let them have the pin code for your ATM card, so perhaps don't trust them with life and limb just yet. Hauling a love glove around in your wallet doesn't make you easy, it makes you organised.

Secondly, suss it out. Not everyone is down with morning nookie, but if you do go for an encore, brush your teeth first. It's just polite. And even if you're not an AM bandit, a snuggle wouldn't go astray. He's not going to think you want him to put a ring on it - it just shows you're a) cool with what went down last night; and b) still think he's hot now you're sober.

Next up, don't text your friends in bed. Your ladybros can wait to hear about your conquests until after you're home and hosed down. Texting does not a good impression make. Also, if you end up at your pad, offer the man some bacon. Or some toast. Or at least a cup of tea. The likelihood he'll take you up on it is slim but, good Lord, splash out on some sustenance - you probably just burned about 48,571 kilojoules between you.

That being said, do not overstay your welcome. If you're there when The Project starts, it's time to cut the cord. Although, pulling out too early isn't favourable either. By which, of course, I mean getting up and sneaking out before he gets up. If you're adult enough to nudge nasties, then you're adult enough to say goodbye.

You might never see him again; he might end up fathering your chillun. Either way, ditch the awkward.

Even if you roll over and he looks like Gollum in the light of day, it's no reason to act like a Jersey Shore cast member. Mind your manners, heed the rules - and you might find that notch turns out to be one to remember.