Hey, uh, ladies? Don’t use your NOKIA 3310 as a dildo, please

Are we still having to go over this?

By Mahalia Chang
NOKIA phone.

Here’s some #relatable content for you: You ever been in a bit of a lonely Thursday night bind with your vibrator out of battery, and had a cheeky look at your old NOKIA brick in the bottom of your drawer and thought ‘I am definitely at this point emotionally and physically’? Us neither!

But, according to this extremely niche survey (and when we say ‘niche’, we mean ‘niiiiiiichhheeeeeee’), a surprisingly large percentage of women in India are using their old NOKIA phones as dildos to trip their switches.

Apparently the old model’s ~intense~ vibration levels are perfect for those after a strong assist to get their rocks off. It’s, of course, not yet known whether or not these ladies were wrapping their hardware before diddling the skittle, but we’re hoping that they did — we’re honestly not sure which would be worse: getting an electrical burn from your favourite bean-buzzer or losing your Snake top score to water damage.

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In addition to taking the old 3310 where no woman has gone before, the ladies of India are also tapping their toothbrushes and bottles to get the job done. Creativity, we gotta hand it to ya.

If you’re eyeing off your trusty '10 for a night in with the girls, then — honestly — we shouldn’t judge, but a word of warning before visiting the underwater kingdom? Pop that bad boy in a condom. NOKIAs might be indestructible but treating your vag right is just common courtesy.