12 problems every twentysomething bridesmaid understands

She’s asked you to be part of the happiest day of her life (yay!) but it's not all happy tears and confetti…

By Lorna Gray

  1. Might sound a tad (ok, a lot) selfish but after the initial, ‘Squeal, I’m a bridesmaid!’ the harsh reality sinks in. You’re not going to be able have one more conversation with your BFF that doesn’t include the dreaded ‘W’ word for a lonnnnnnng time. So you better get a new go-to buddy for pressing conversations like: “Who would you rather bone: Ryan Reynolds or Ryan Gosling?”

  1. The curse of the bankrupt bridesmaid. Yup, it’s a real thing. Flights to hen do, flights to wedding location, overnight stay at wedding location, dress, shoes, bag, wedding present – Goodbye, sweet dollars of mine.

  1. You hear ‘hen do’, you think fun. And willies. But somehow you’ve got a full-scale military operation on your hands. Not only do you have to cater for bridezilla herself but you’ve also got her impossible-to-please mother, ‘life sucks’ little cousin and outlandish aunt to consider. You did NOT sign up for this.

  1. And speaking of the hen do… what’s the dealio with being micromanaged? It’s the bridesmaid’s duty to decide location and activities. And now she’s vetoing all the good stuff. What do you mean a geriatric stripper would be totes inappropes?

  1. Those little pre-wedding ‘treats’ have a nasty habit of completely beasting your bank balance (see aforementioned bankrupt bridesmaid). Group massages, facial, getting your nails done, afternoon tea… “Er, how about we hang around my place and watch The Batchelor instead?”

  1. It’s cool to be asked your opinion. It’s not cool for her to ask your opinion and not even take it. At 5 in the morning. “Sorry, it’s early but do you think I should go with the purple chair drapes?” “Yes, amazing.” So she goes with PINK.

  1. Erk, she’s usually super stylish but she’s picked a hideous dress for you. Take a deep breath. Go to your happy place. And repeat: "It’s her big day. It’s her big day."

  1. Your face, your canvas. Well, not today. She’s dictated how you wear your hair and make-up too and now you’re wearing lilac eye-shadow circa 2001. Repeat as before: It’s her big day. It’s her big day.

  1. OK, so you’re surviving wearing a dress you don’t like and the lilac eye-shadow but can you survive THE CHEESY WEDDING POSES. “Now jump in the air!” “Blow some kisses!” “Twerk!”

  1. Everyone feels the need to comment on your marital status when you’re a bridesmaid.

Single? “Oh my gawd, let’s set you up with Mark/Tim/Phil.” Taken? “Oh, maybe it’ll be YOU next.”

  1. It’s only 3pm and you’re freaking exhausted. Turns out being treated like a personal assistant to a mega diva is pretty intense. Miranda Priestly ain’t got nothing on her.

  1. Woop! You survived and it was a beautiful day (minus the dress/make-up/cheesy posed pics/being treated like a PA), but you’re so not in the clear yet. The ‘W’ word will be part of your world now. For all of time… (or at least until you’ve had the premiere of the wedding DVD). Bridesmaids, we salute you!

Can you think of any more #BridesmaidProblems? Tell us @CosmoBride