Weddings

21 reasons why planning a wedding is THE WORST

Number 14 is particularly bad.

  1. You make ONE request and you're accused of being a bridezilla. I'm sorry, but your cheesecloth napkins are ugly. NMP.

  1. It’s all anyone asks you about.

  1. Sorting out bridesmaids dresses is a major head fuck. Girls, I love you, but quit your whinging about how the dress makes arms/tummy/hands look fat. No one will be looking at you anyway.

  1. Favours. Is this wedding I have planned for MONTHS and used all my monies on not enough for you people?

  1. All the stuff you didn't even think about. What do you mean I have to get a LINING for the tablecloths? Isn’t that the table?

  1. The irrationality of it all... I don't have a photo booth, will people still come? $1,000 for a cake? Seems reasonable. Yes I really do need 40 umbrellas because WHAT IF IT RAINS?

  1. Two words: Bride diet. Also the worst for everyone around you.

  1. No one RSVPs. What am I meant to tell the caterers you pack of c*nts?

  1. Someone RSVPs and asks if they can bring their new man. Well you matched on Tinder yesterday so, no.

  1. To dress code or not to dress code?

  1. Your venue has a “No candles. No confetti. No balloons. No sparklers. No rice. No petals.” policy.

  1. You finally figure out what flowers you want. Florist says they’re not in season.

  1. Everything you want is over budget.

  1. Realising you don't even have a specialty cocktail...

  1. When someone says they can't make your wedding. You know it's not personal, but at the same time, it feels mighty personal.

  1. When you finally buy your wedding dress and then suddenly every other dress looks better than yours. How does that even happen?!

  1. Veils. I do not remember tulle costing that much at my year 6 ballet recital.

  1. Choosing Bible readings. So there's this passage about how women should obey men, or there's this passage about how women should serve men...

  1. Thinking you could just get away with a mani/pedi. Haha wut?! You forgot about teeth whitening, botox, spray tan, eyelash extensions, Hypoxi and vajazzling.

  1. People "suggesting" things. Thanks but no thanks.

  1. Realising all this hard work will pay for, oh, about 12 hours of your life.